"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?

If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

If you take a shower, where do you put it?

Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

Is it possible to be totally partial

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

What happens if you get scared half to twice?

What is the speed of dark?

What's another word for synonym?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Have ex-bankers become disinterested?

Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?

Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?

Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?

Have ex-punsters been expunged?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we have hot water heaters?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

Why are we afraid of falling?

Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Why aren't there bulletproof pants?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?

Why do airlines call flights nonstop?

Won't they all stop eventually?

Why do bars advertise live bands?

What does a band sound like?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?